Pretty-As-A-Picture

i remember being a child. this long-haired, twiggy thing with delicious dreams of becoming a movie starlet or a princess. of course, you're not entirely logical when you are that young. your head is in the clouds and the future is a million miles away. i think when the clouds begin to clear and you start to see the future there in the sky, you begin to grow up. life begins to sink in. you realise you are not beautiful or elegant enough to become a princess, and your eyes don't sparkle enough to be a movie star. try again.

even though my clouds cleared away sooner than anyone else i knew my age, i was still breathing them. only suddenly i knew who i was, or moreso, who i wanted to be. i was fourteen and i wrote in my diary "i am nirrimi and because of that, i'm going to live. really live." and for me that meant throwing myself headfirst into photography and life. i didn't attend school much, i spent days planning, learning to retouch and taking pictures. my studies suffered and my passion bloomed. it was "illogical and thoughtless" but i thought, why should i listen to a miserable, high school teacher about how to live my life?

my grandparents lived by the alice river, on an enormous property with fruit trees and a treehouse by the water where you could watch cows gather at sunset. i remember sitting in the treehouse with a blank book, filling it with ideas for pictures. the passion welled up in me and i saw the world through picture-finding eyes. i miss the excitement now, which only greets me sometimes in memory. i discovered that came with my growing up, it became harder to feel.

there is resentment and jealousy from others at times, as though people think i am undeserving of the attention i've gotten or the talent i've developed. as though it is all luck and really, they deserve it much more. but i have worked and i have obsessed. i've left my mind inside my camera and forgotten to use my head, pushing away friends and family and being regretfully selfish. i've forced myself to grow up rather quickly. and now things are beginning to happen for me. things i only ever imagined. not just with photography, but also with my life and lover (but that's a story for another day).

i've learnt that to make dreams come true, you have to be obsessed. truly, utterly obsessed. i think of obsession as passion squared, and if you have passion for something people will see that. if you go through an entire day without doing something towards your dream, you're not obsessed enough to make it happen.

sure, some people get lucky, but we're not going to wait around to see if that's us. we need to make things happen for ourselves, because we are the only ones in control of our lives. with enough obsession and work any dream can come true for you. you will be disappointed, sleepless and somedays you will want to give up. but you will be happy, because you are living.

i can't wait to let my children dream the way my parents let me. teach them that as long as they have the love and motivation to work towards their wildest fantasies, they will happen.

never give up on all your loves and dreams, let them out to be loud!


weliveyoung.blogspot.com/2010/…;< please comment here!

hello,

click on me to go to my blog, where you'll see all my new pictures and words from here on. bookmark and follow me. i promise i have good things to show you.

weliveyoung.blogspot.com/

+ if you have a moment, check out my interview in YEN i45.tinypic.com/2uf6l9f.jpg + my editorial in OYSTER weliveyoung.blogspot.com/2010/…
i've been busy! going a little crazy in my head and need to move out of melbourne soon though. me and m are moving to sydney, then i am moving to new york later on. i have butterflies.

what have you all been doing? tell me life has been good to you!
i really hope everyone is happy.

love nirrimi.

i'm sorry for all the quiet! see, i go through periods of quietness and loudness. sometimes i want to be nothing. i'm a child and all the attention is overwhelming to me. instead of breathing i just close my eyes and pretend it doesn't exist. but it doesn't go away and i feel guilty, like a lover that keeps coming back to me after i ignore him and treat him like he isn't real, and i know i don't deserve it.

but i don't want to be a hermit right now.

i have a lot of new work. not as much as much as i'd like. but a lot you're yet to see. most of it is for magazine editorial, so i'm not allowed to show. which is horrible (until it comes out). but i have to pay rent.

i won soya. it was crazy. i was sitting there at the awards night, so many important people sitting all around me, she began to open the envelope and i was saying under my breath 'not nirrimi, not nirrimi, it can't be me'. i was trying not to get my hopes up but my heart was beating a million miles a second. then it was me and i can't really remember much. i was in shock.

i spent the prize money on a new camera and a macbook, it's going to change my work for the better. and next year i am going to new york and hopefully russia. i want to shoot a film there. oh yeah, i'm getting into film. did i tell you?

i started a blog last night, a blog i am really going to start using. it hasn't any entries yet but my first entry will be new work. please follow and bookmark. i promise to fill it up with inspiration for you!

www.weliveyoung.blogspot.com

i hope you're all well, don't hate me too much

love, n

not only am i now seventeen and also signed to LOOK productions, but i also (along with my lover) made it into the shortlist of SOYA (which could mean $10,000 and a NYC mentorship with tim richardson).

so yeah, it's safe to say i'm pretty happy.

i love m no less than when we first met. he is my warmth in this cool. he is so good to me, so wonderful and caring and loving. despite so many people telling me moving in with him would ruin us, i've never been happier in my entire life. even the being broke is kind of fun, haha.

life is wonderful.

hope you are all well!!

n

rates from $250 for the next two weeks

email nirrimi@gmail.com for more info + to book

n + m