how is everyone?

and i haven't been very happy recently so it's a very good thing.
mygod am i going to be busy these school holidays.
i have about 15 paid shoots booked, no joke.
money's going towards photography stuff, photography is quite an expensive hobby you know.
ooOoooOoooOooooOOoh by the way this is my boyfriend

feel free to stalk him or remind him how lucky he is
kidding.
okay well seeing as though its 1am i should probably sleep.
night.
nirrimi.

woah.
writing is kind of the other part of me.
a part of me i never really shared because i was scared of being critised into giving up, or simply ignored because it 'takes more effort to read words than look at  pretty pictures'.
but thankyou, really.
it's nice to be aknowledged for something other than my photographs.
and i'm not getting big-headed or thinking i'm great at writing, i just like knowing that i'm okay. :]
i have no idea why i even uploaded that peice of prose last night, i was going to upload it for the night and delete it in the morning, only to be greeted by a multitude of comments telling me not to.
nice, unexpected feeling.
thankyouuuuu.
nirrimi.

if you read this- you MUST comment.
no matter who you are.
it doesn't even have to say anything.
just comment.

-let's see how many comments we can get.



COMMENT.

black and white
[link]

or

colour
[link]

which should i upload?
or none at all.
:]

love yous.
nirrimi.

i love browsing deviantart and seeing my photo on the front page
just little things like that
makes things much more bareable

and scrolling through all the comments on my photos
or seeing my photos in amazing artists favourites.

the people on here make me so happy
[and a little big headed]

thank you.
:]
a lot.

nirrimi.

why do opposite emotions always seem to go hand-in-hand [or something more violent, fist-on-head and boots-on-shins maybe]
i have a shoot tomorrow, i've been waiting ages for.
but then.
arghhh.
other things distract me from the anticipation.
gr!

aw, well.
i want to know
what mix of emotions do you feel right now?

i feel like a physciatrist
how do you feel?

i'm curious.

nirrimi.

ps: my goal is to get to 100,000 atleast before my birthday [27.8] i think i can do it! -grins-

haha, well since i've gotten quite a few messages saying things like
"I really wanna see a pic of her smiling or laughing. It would be lovely "
ect. ect. all along the same lines.

so i thought i'd upload a picture of her smiling to flickr [yep i have flickr]
so if you were one of the people wanting to see her not so serious
check it out
[link]


& if you wanted it, here's my flickr
[link]


nirrimi.
love you all.

ps: buying some things for shoots tonight.
and a spoiler to some shoots coming up.
think mannequins and wigs and fake eyelashes and red lipstick.

i'm so sick- so sick of school.
i cannot see how it's helping me.
i'd learn alot more if i just didn't go.
do photoshoots by day, edit by night.
hmmm just a thought/wish/hope i guess.

i want to get good.
but nothing ever seems good enough.
eughh.
awh well, i guess i'll just have to keep trying.

sorry this isn't my usual euphoric journal, but i just feel so blehhh 'cause i have 9 assignments to do.
i'm just much too good at procrastinating.

anyway- hope a few people like my work. :]
hope all is well for everyone.

nirrimi.

so get ready for some prodigious photography, deviantart.

okay maybe not- but get ready for some photography.

nirrimi.

i get my camera back tuesday *refrains from typing in capitals in a weak attempt to hide her extreme excitement*

i can't believe it. it's barely sunken in and yet i am still so ecstatic.
yes, i'm a lunatic but i love it.

you know what this means? photos. and alot of them.
watch out deviantart ;]

haha, 'sif.

nirrimi.

[oh kay, so here is a diary entry that i'd thought i'd share because it seems somewhat relevant;]. i didn't spend alot of time writing this, just straight from the heart so don't kill me if anything's wrong or if it sounds shit; i don't really care. also thanks heeeeeaaaaapppssss for the fifty thousand+ views. reckon we can make it to 100,000 by the end of the year?]

face prettily painted in violet eyeshadow, cerise blush and sticky lips
bathed in yellow light, casting shadows beyond her.
finger on the trigger.

eyes closed against the bright and her fingers resting on a bare shoulder
she doesn't see me yet; but she knows i'm here.
she moves so naturally, like she has been doing this all her life
a life so little and yet i still stand here

ready to shoot her.

my fingertips press- just faintly now- against the release
she still remains, eyes closed and lips shining, in that perpetual heat
she knows what will happen
but she isn't scared.

that childish fear evades her- maybe it disappeared when she put on that make-up
i wonder; even when i know.

fingertips about to crush the trigger and i mumble something- half under my breath.
those blue eyes flicker open and burn with lustre, that warm light reflecting from her eyes
blonde mess of hair but god she is beautiful.

she shouldn't be, no, but she is.

even still- i know she must be shot.
i know it by the way she stands, the way those fingers find their place on her skin and the way her eyes scream 'shoot me'.

so i shoot her.
no noise and here she still echantingly stands, squinting now in that unnatural bright.

godamn being out of film.

♥
well you probably notice i don't exactly upload much.

trust me if i could, i would upload five photos a day.

but, but, but boo is STILL being fixed.

it's crazy.

in the meantime i've been using filmmmm cameras.

i've learnt alot from film and it's exciting.

i have three film cameras now [yeah & i have even named them]

if i get my scanner working, i'll upload some film shots.

so yes, i'm sorry about not uploading.

but i promise when i'm back i'll be better than ever!

[and upload EVERYDAY]

nirrimi.

you could be anything right now or anywhere what/where would you be?

nirrimi.

don't tell me you understand me.
how could you?
when i don't even understand myself.

moments like these and you wish you understood how this world worked.
erractically with wasted chunks of time and moments of happiness  just momentuous bursts, never lasting long enough.

i just want to live.
and get out of this repetitious cycle.

you could go back in time, and tell your past self one thing.
what would it be?

nirrimi.

chyeahhh. 40,000 hits. thank you!
hoping to get at least 100k by the end of the year.
:]

doing pinhole photography at school.
need a portfolio of pictures that we have taken around the school.

has anyone used a pinhole camera? got any tips?
any ideas for photos i can take around the schoooool?

okayyyy byebyeeeee.

xxx

have an idea/concept for a photoshoot that you would like me to do?

any ideas, seriously none are stupid. and i can always adapt it.

then you can go around showing everyone my picture saying "ohh yeah that was my idea man"

haha, or not.

what are you doing tonight?

do you wanna do something?

okay, not really, that's pretty cruel
but arghhh i don't wanna do them.
i have four left.
i just finished one.

so what are you supposed to be doing that you don't want to?