Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
Shop deviantART for the
holidays and save BIG!
Click here! :holly:
[x]

deviantART

 

you can't feel through fabric by =Pretty-As-A-Picture:iconPretty-As-A-Picture:



tonight the rain becomes the earth
falling from hidden spaces in the sky and swollen clouds
i hear it make mud of dirt, and lovers of friends
and ask, quiet, where are you going but down?

i’m not all there in the head
you’re not all there in the head, my mother says
i’m not all there in the head i repeat
sometimes i’m there in my toes and fingers and heart as well

and now - in this downpour moment- i lie on the street
so warm that i think well that’s where love’s gotten to
but where is your shirt n? oh someplace else
and is that a light flickering in the house across the road? hide!

i rush in soaken with rain i watched fall (like stars)
am i poetic enough yet, yet?
leaving rain-prints on the carpet but mother won’t mind
mind you she never minds anything if it’s mine

but then it stops a quick shut-eye stop
(i wonder) is it dew now that it sits like jewels upon the grass?
the wind is lovely in my ear, voice like rushing water
no not down; through, through.
©2008-2009 =Pretty-As-A-Picture
:iconpretty-as-a-picture:

Author's Comments

first poem in a few years



Comments


love 4 4 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icondecipher-reflections:
I think it's beautiful.

--
Humanity needs to look at serious issues in terms of how they will better society, not whether their god will disown them.
It's time to get serious.
--
What will make the concept of all men created equal factual? Allowing gay marriage and rights.
:iconjlithium:
Very nice, abstract poem :hug:

--
Ever drifting down the stream--
Lingering in the golden gleam--
Life, what is it but a dream?


-Lewis Carroll
:icontwentysevenlizard:
Feels very erratic... But it's well written and received.

But there is no waiting to see if a poem is good. The only person who's approval matters is yourself, and if you posted it on here, then clearly it was good enough for you.

He who forever seeks the approval of others is failing to live the life he deserves. Each of us are our own and on our own we must learn to love ourselves.
:iconxglassgalaxyx:
"i’m not all there in the head
you’re not all there in the head, my mother says
i’m not all there in the head i repeat
sometimes i’m there in my toes and fingers and heart as well"


i love that part! ♥

--
One mile is just as far as one thousand if you can't bridge that distance.
:iconangelskissinspring:
I love that, I think it's very good for someone who hasn't written poetry in a long time. :heart:

--
Please view my :gallery:
:iconplatinummyr:
I like the... silliness I guess is the word of this. Like the whole beautiful forgetfulness of it all.

--
*TheWritersMeow
A birthday is just a day, you say.
But it's a special day.
It's the day you first changed the world.
:iconthefansavior:
you're so descriptive, i love it♥
:iconfurcifer07:
its strange. i like it but it is very strange. it's as if the narrator's thoughts are scattered. i love the "where are you going but down" thought to no end. D

--
[link] <-- Click it. You won't be disappointed
:iconshortstory89:
I love it! =)
you are very talented, and I can tell you have a beautiful mind.. (jeez, that was corny.. =P)

--
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! =D btw..: check out my gallery, why don't you..? [link]
:iconjsting:
this is wonderful:

"i hear it make mud of dirt, and lovers of friends"

"leaving rain-prints on the carpet but mother won’t mind
mind you she never minds anything if it’s mine"

hope you don't mind:
i think there is a typo after shirt: "but where is your shirt n?"
also, did you mean to repeat "mind"? almost seems like the second line should start with "she never..."

This was a nice piece. I hope you startup and continue writing poetry. Rework this one since you seemed to have some doubts that it's any good because it was easy to write. But I don't think the ease or difficulty should determine it. All my poems come out in a flurry of a few minutes. Then I go back and pick at it.

Details

December 18, 2008
1.2 KB

Statistics

87
309 [who?]
7,193 (1 today)
21 (0 today)

Site Map